Believing in one's dreams
I sit here making plans for a dream that most of the people think is crazy. No one seems to understand that riding your bike across the country is something everyone can do. The whole concept seems crazy to most. Many think that it's even more crazy that someone like me can do some as audacious as ride a bicycle a hundred miles let alone thousands of miles.I have to be careful because it can be easy for me to start questioning my own abilities. Easy to start to listen to all the naysayers. Most of my life I have lived with some medical condition that has caused me to doubt my abilities.
Financially this trip is impossible for someone like me. I had cancer at 17 and found myself fighting for my life for years to come. After my cancer my health quickly stabilized, but at 17 I was just not emotionally mature enough to handle not being able to eat and never really found my way. I really enjoyed studying architecture at university. In the middle of school I decided to finally have my Laryngectomy operation to restore my ability to eat and talk. I had an operation to reconstruct my throat that failed shortly after my initial cancer operation and it took me ten years before I was ready to try again. I spent another seven years learning to eat well enough to have the feeding tube removed. and after that I was done with operations. .
I find myself frustrated and in pain. My body hurts, the pain in my shoulder is near constant and the pain in my tongue has been mentally crippling. Every winter the pain becomes so bad I often spend most of my time indoors dreaming of climbing mountains and riding my bike. The only time I'm not in pain is while I'm on my recumbent bike. I need a break from pain. I need a break from feeling low. I need this bike ride to fell healthy and restore hope.
After spending most of the winter sitting around in pain my mind was starting to feel with doubt. The weather has just been wet and cold making it really hard to stay motivated. Last week I had the chance to go on a nice 47 mile training ride and that single ride restored me to the core. My appetite has doubled and it's everything I can do not to spend everyday riding. I want to spend more time training. I'm currently much of my time preparing for my Epic Adventure. Hopefuly I can get everything done over the next week so I can enjoy some nice rides around Portland. It will be strange being aways for so long. I have never left Portland for more than six weeks.
In an effort to inspire others I have decided to document my training rides this year. You can also follow me on Strava.com
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